Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Haiku Friday

Boys that become men

Late in their life, probably

have been very spoiled.








p.s. I had no idea what today was when I wrote this!

Tethered

When I was in junior high, I was obsessed with tether ball. I played it so much. I sprained many fingers multiple times. After they would heal, I would be back at it. It is probably my favorite sport. I can't think of another one at this point in time that I like more.

Every day at least once a day, I have to explain what tethering is to a customer. (It's using the data from your device and tethering it to your laptop so they are sharing the data).

I worked with a certain caterpillar today that perhaps is blossoming into something great! I am so proud of this certain caterpiller. She is attentive to various slugs that come to our place looking to purchase communication devices. Smart, great attitude, high energy. Not a lot of self-initiative, but whatever. I am just so grateful for someone who doesn't spit in the garbage and grunt everytime a cute caterpiller walks by.

BUT...

The head slug, Ducky, let me know that her success is TETHERED to mine. I think sometimes that when people learn English in a communication device slug colony, perhaps they use common words to explain many different things. He said she was ported in from our other store and that the tethering goes both ways. Told me I have a decision to make about retaining her since we are tethered together. I asked when I was given the power stick. He said I don't have it, but I do have a decision to make. Of course I added a line and let her assume responsibililty for it. Sometimes I want to pour water all over the whole slug colony!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Chocolat

So I watched the movie by the name of the title of this blog. It was very good. It was an answer to a prayer. Bit of a long story, but that's what blogs are for, right?

I recently went to Edmonton. I was considering moving there, and may in the far future. But my heart is here right now. I thought I was being foolish. Like running away-with-the-circus-kinda silly. 7 days ago, I prayed for a sign in the form of a story, specifically about a mother and daughter and landing in a town and STAYING there. I prayed that it be a movie or a song or a book that I could relate to. We always moved around when I was little and I hated it. I truly did. I think I may have been bored to tears to stay in one place, but I will never know. I was jealous of people who grew up in one town and knew the people they went to kindergarten with, let alone still knew the people they went to high school with. But I am who I am. Moving around helped me meet lots of people and adjust accordingly. Before we started a movie, I randomly grabbed two movies and held them behind my back. I told our host to pick a hand and that would eliminate one choice. She declined, saying she wanted to watch one of two movies. Chocolat was one of them. We ended up watching it, of course. What are the chances though? Is there ever a coincidence of this magnitude? It was amazing that we picked that movie. In the story, the North wind moved a mother and daughter from place to place. The daughter hated it. And then at one point, they come into a kitchen and everyone is helping out, making food. They stayed and didn't move anymore. It's kinda their church. It was good. For so long, I had this scripture haunting me: "Raise the signal and go to Zion! Flee for safety without delay! For I am bringing disaster from the North, even terrible destruction." (Jeremiah 4:6) I got that back when I lived in Kelowna and that movie reminded me that I don't get that warning anymore. I was just still, for the first time in a long time. And watched a movie. Where the mother and daughter stay put.

Amazing True Freedom

My ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend and she is very successful. I am happy for them. It is not who I thought it would be.

I am so happy for them. Weird. Not even a hint of jealousy. What? Am I actually becoming an adult? Couldn't be. Maybe it just means he is not the one. I'll take whatever explanation I can get, I am just happy.

WARNING: Grossest entry ever

I had food poisoning. Like nothing I have ever had before! I thought I was dying. I couldn't find my phone because I had put it on silent because I had a killer headache. The advil I took wouldn't stay down. I thought for sure I had H1N1. And I heard it killed people. I wanted to find my phone to tell my mother where to bury me and to not worry. I wasn't thinking clearly. I thought for sure I was dying and people would come looking for me when I didn't pay rent. Ha ha. However, I was kinda glad to be alone cause I was kind of a mess. I only had 3 or 4 drinks the night before and thought "wow, I must be getting old, I really can't hold my drink." I remember feeling queazy when a few of us were in Princess' parking lot looking at her new car. I remember thinking that maybe one day I will buy a car like this. Then I remember thinking, wow, I am dizzy, must stand straight, don't fall over.
At 3am, the volatile vomit started. It didn't stop until about 9pm that night. Stupid me, I went into work. See, my boss was generous enough to give me paid days off and I promised that I would be there. On my way to work, I threw up in the bushes. When I got to work, the garbage can got it. I didn't even make it to the bathroom.

This is a really gross story. It gets better though, I promise.

The guys I work with demanded I go home and pretty much carried me out. (They have muscles, I didn't mind). Who did I see on my way home at 10 am, but non-gay boy. I don't like him anymore. He's obnoxious. (Yes, I change my mind. Quickly sometimes.)
I remember crawling into bed and passing out. Right before I passed out, I thought to myself, I hope Princess is as sick as I am, cause she can hold her liquor and if she is, that means we have food poisoning because we ate from the same place.

I woke up and couldn't make it to the bathroom; my body was too sore to move and I was about to lose it right then. I grabbed a sheet and lost it in that one. At one point, the vomit was bright green. The fish I had eaten hadn't even digested!!!! When I talked to Princess, she mentioned hers hadn't either. Ok, that's the grossest part. It's all done now.

My organs hurt, my bones, hurt, my eyes, hurt. I don't want to eat fish for a long time. However, I have nothing in my fridge and freezer but fish!!!! Blah. I think I lost 5 pounds. Princess lost 2. I hate throwing up. It's like pooing out of your mouth.

And it kinda looked like the soup I had the night before. Milk was a bad choice.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

He's not gay!

He's not gay! He's not gay! He's not gay! He's not gay! He's not gay! He's not gay! He's not gay! He's not gay! He's not gay! He's not gay! He's not gay! He's not gay! He's not gay! He's not gay! He's not gay! He's not gay! He's not gay! He's not gay! He's not gay! He's not gay! He's not gay!



Just so you are clear, this really well groomed guy who smells great is not gay. Not. Homosexual.



Now I just have to find out if he is a Jesus lover. I'm not scared. Yet.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I have no gay-dar

That's right. It's gay radar. That's all I have to say about that.

I'm baaaaaaaaaack.

Ok so I am back from my wonderful trip to Edmonton. I had such a great time, it almost seemed like too soon to come back. It has been a while since I have posted anything so I guess I should catch up. Hmmm let's see.

Oh the pressure. Well, here are the highlights to my trip:
I got to see my sister and mom. When I called my sister to say I was going to surprise them, she started crying. When I got to the door, I went down to the basement where my mom was watching TV and snuck in. I said "Hello?" and she thought I was my sister. Then she looked up and saw me and started crying and shaking. It was good. Not that I want to make people shake and cry. But what a welcome. She saw my friend and started crying that she was there too. I am sure it was because she didn't want to see her. Kidding! She loves Doodle. A lot. And sincerely, which is sometimes rare in my family. Doodle has a niece that calls her Doowa. It is the cutest thing I have seen in a long time. And my nephew. My sister calls him The Little Shit, but really, he is just very active. She never says that when he is around though. I sometimes wish she wouldn't say it but it's hilarious!!! He takes every single item out of her purse, examines each piece and takes it apart to see how it works and then walks away. My sister will come upon a pile of broken items and realize that he did it again.

He isn't that bad or anything, just very active and curious. He is 2 and a half and his little brother is 8 months. He often wants to play rough with his little brother because he plays rough with daddy when daddy comes home from work,so he will put him in a head lock, or sit on him while he is having "tummy time". His little brother will scream his head off, so he will think that he won. My sister sends him to his room. It was so cute to see my baby sister disciplining her children. She is 10 years younger than me, and I had to turn my face so that her and the kids wouldn't see me laughing. I don't know why I found it funny. It's like, I used to have to discipline her and it just seems so funny now that she is doing it. I don't mean any disrespect, it's just so cute.

Until the kids see me with my face turned and my whole body jiggling!

Once they see you jiggling, they know that have gotten away with whatever. And that's how I laugh. Everything jiggles. And I hold the laugh in so much that I let out this little snort. It's horrible. My sister wasn't pleased. At one point, she ducked into the bathroom and I thought she was angry and crying. Nope, she lost control and was laughing. We stayed in the bathroom doing our snorting laugh because we were trying to hold our laughs in and when we came out, her sweet little boy made sure she was alright. Then he told her she was pretty. And then asked for a treat. Smart kid.

I visited a friend that lives close to my sister. She is Canadian and so is her husband....no accent whatsoever. Her little 3 yr old boy comes into the living room and says (in a perfect British accent), "Mummy, may I have a snack?" It took me a minute to think about her and her husband and if they have taken a trip to the UK recently. Nope. Not that I knew of. I listened to her son a bit more as he went on about Spidamon (Spiderman) and toe-mase the Twain (Thomas the Train). Then I asked her if she realized she gave birth to a little British boy? She said "No, no, it's more like Elmer Fudd." He just has a slight speech impediment, is seeing a language counsellor or whatever they are called. Let me tell you, it was the cutest thing ever. I wanted to take Elmer Fudd and cuddle him and tickle him, but he thinks he was born as Spiderman and it's hard to hug a little British boy who is stuck to the side of the wall and climbing up it. Probably so politically incorrect to post this, but it touched my heart. Definitely one of the highlights of my prairie trip.