Mow

I went up to Mount Washington this weekend for a ski trip with a bunch of peeps. It was great, but I didn't go out on the hill. I was sick so I stayed at the Lodge and chillaxed with some youth. We played this awesome game called Mow. Basically, one person is the leader and makes the rules. Playing the game was myself and a couple other leaders and 3 youth (or is it youths...? Whatever. There were 6 of us.) I briefly explained the game, and as the game went on, they seemed angry. But they couldn't voice their frustration or anger because no talking is one of the rules. Ha. However, as they started understanding the rules more, they wanted to play another hand, and another, and another. Lunch was served at 11:30am and one of the youth(s) was the leader. As we went to stand up to get lunch, he penalized us with a card. Eating lunch was not allowed! Well, you would think that, hey, this is just a game. Who cares about getting another card. But you would be wrong. These youth(s) were serious about their game and stayed. So I stayed. I didn't win another round because they? decided that since I was not as benevolent as them, they would penalize me any way they could. It became all out war. I had a fever and headache and was nauseous. But I didn't quit. I had to beat them. Shortly after lunch, they decided they wanted a break from the game. I didn't want to take a break but just didn't have the energy to convince them to stay. Until next time. I am going to be dreaming up some sweet rules.

Fight Like a Girl

What does fighting like a girl look like? Why do guys say that and mean it like an insult?

Maybe we are supposed to fight like girls. In the past, when I got into a fight with a girl, each girl fought differently. Some with their nails, some with fists, some with words. The way of fighting that I disliked the most, was the quietest one, very subtle. It said: You are excluded. I have always hated being excluded. I think that is what the enemy whispers to me: you don't belong. That is such an immature thing though. It seems like in high school, that is the place to conform. But does that feeling ever really leave us? If I were to fight against something, as a girl, I guess it would be to include people. But I don't like including everyone. I like having my tight little group. I like belonging to someone and someone belonging to me. Maybe that is selfish. I like not including everyone because then it seems "special" or something. Elite?

On the other hand, I feel this pull to include absolutely everyone and befriend everyone and not leave anyone out. I know that people can find this annoying (I have been told). I have been told many times that I know a lot of people. But it's just because I don't want to leave anyone out. If I were to fight like a girl, it would look like me dressed pretty and a bit skinnier and more successful than I am now and approaching women on a regular basis and loving on them. Sounds kinda scary. I bet guys would have a hard time doing that!

Woman in Chains

I love Tears for Fears. They are awesome. Going through my head all day. It's a world gone crazy that keeps a woman in chains.

I am reading a book right now called Mean Girls. By Hayley Dimarco.

Dude.

I am a mean girl.

I don't mean to be. This week has been interesting. Last Wednesday, I spoke at Crave. I was a bit nervous when I started, but it got better and my voice got smoother. I talked about baptism and the purpose of life and prayer and Jesus. All that good stuff. People told me I did well, but I didn't plan on speaking on anything that I had actually said. I had notes, and I didn't take them with me on purpose. But then my talk changed. I have received several emails from girls from Crave asking for prayer. I am amazed. And of course, praying for them. It's wonderful. But I noticed mean girls at a function last night. And I didn't like what they were doing. So I was indirectly mean to them. Who's the mean girl here? In the book, Hayley (we are now on a first name basis) points out that these people don't INTEND to be mean, but may just be inconsiderate or selfish. They don't set out to hurt others; they just don't even think about it. I definitely didn't set out to hurt others, but I withheld love from girls that needed it. I knew they needed it and I knew I had love to give, and I didn't give it. Maybe not sooooo mean, but this book has opened my eyes a bit. This seems funny to me because I didn't consider myself a "mean girl." Anyways, this is probably the start of a mean girls series of blogs on Alluring Breath. Brace yourself.

Dangerous Cake Walk

I am exhausted.

I made the cake. Dobosz torte. It was complicated and difficult and dangerous, but that sucker's done! Complicated was knowing how long to beat the egg whites. If you think its enough, guess what? It's not! Difficult was cutting out the circles. The box I have to hold it is exactly 9 inches and the cake pan is 9 inches. I cut a little bit off the circumference of each layer, making them even. I measured each layer exactly the same, laying the batter out the same way each time. People kept calling while I was in the middle of making this cake. Each layer can only cook for 7 minutes. I would be on the phone and scream, "Oh no! I forgot the cake again!" None of them burnt. The cake, not the people.

There was something that burnt though. Cheesecake. I NEVER want to see cheesecake again ever in my life. We don't really get along. Although I love love love the taste, cheesecake does NOT listen to me. In the end, I scrapped the recipe, started over and used my mother's recipe, which is not baked. I prefer the baked kind. But cheesecake and I broke up. No more. Kaput. Cheesecake, don't go away mad, just go away.

The icing for the dobosz torte is to die for. It's a cream with yolks and bittersweet chocolate and icing sugar. It's so smooth. I put a tiny bit of hazelnut in it and it is the layers and the outer icing. Then I put toasted almonds on the outside of the cake. This is quite a feat to make a perfect dobosz torte. If I had say what I could have done better, the only thing is the glass top. Sugar is so hard to work with! I burnt my knuckle when I dripped one drop on my knuckle. I immediately put my mouth on it and burnt my tongue. But my hand instantly went red and the whole hand throbbed. The skin came right away where I burnt myself. Dangerous stuff. Just like me. I am the girl who eats an apple without washing it and leaves tips off of highlighters.

Midnight Moscow

K so I admit, I have been neglecting my blog. I have been busy. Sleeping and cleaning and stuff. And watching movies. Right now I am watching Bride Wars. It's so good. Emma sends Liv butter from International Butter Club. Liv sits around eating butter. HA. Gross. But funny. Liv changes Emma's tanning color from caramel to orange. Emma changes Liv's hair dye to blue. She looks like a smurf. They make up in the end. I like movies with happy endings. I haven't seen Avatar but lots of people have told me to see it.

I also watched Fireproof. Amazing movie! One of my favorites. Everyone should see it. It's about a couple who goes through a hard time and then the husband learns how to love his wife. Everyone should watch it, not just couples.

Hmmm, what else...

I have been organizing this man's office. It's a lot of fun and completely frustrating at the same time. I am making a lot of headway but he wanted me to organize for his tax accountant. I had no idea what I was doing. I sat and stared at the pile for about 20 minutes. Then started organizing by month and created a labelled system for him. He was extremely happy with that. Whew! He now wants me to organize for the international component. So completely thrilled! It starts in 3 months. I have no idea what I am doing. Ha ha ha! By then, I will have more of an idea. This is what I am good at.

As you all know, I quit my job. It is nice to not have to go to a mall and work. Or be in a box and work. Or have a boss. Or have a rude boss. And I get to still organize. Which is what I did a lot at my job.

p.s. Liv's fiance is so much nicer than Emma's fiance. SPOILER ALERT ** Thank God Emma and Fletcher don't get married! Who has the name Fletcher? Seriously? Sounds like a jerk name anyways. I am done. Gonna go paint my nails.

Oh How He Loves Us

This is my favorite song lately. It's amazing. I heard it for the first time at Crave a few weeks ago and I play it over and over, Favorite lines are about a sloppy wet kiss and not having time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way he loves us. Here is the story behind the song:

The song came following the death of a dear friend who, during a church staff meeting, prayed out loud "If it would shake the youth of a nation, I will give my life today." John McMillan was awoken in the middle of that very night by a phone call. His friend, who had mentioned those words during his church's staff meeting earlier that day, was killed in a car crash. The song took a couple years to surface in the Christian mainstream, but has gone on to become one of the most played worship songs.

What's that you say? You want lyrics? Here you go:

He is jealous for me
Love's like a hurricane, I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.
Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.

So we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way

That he loves us,
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves us
Woah, how He loves

-John Mark McMillan

What? You want to hear it? Well, okay, here you go. Hope you love it.

Warrior Princess Daughter

So, here I am, at my table, with my laptop. Our relationship is back on. I have him precariously perched on a pile of books so as to not overheat. Also the charger is tucked around to stay plugged in. All this just to blog! Woo hoo.

So, lots is new.

1. I quit my job last week. I was grateful for it while it lasted, but on to other better things. That will be a blog on its own.

2. I joined twitter. I found some of my mentors there. They don't know they are my mentors, but it's kind of like an afar thing. Like, how I stalk guys, but now it's mentors, and this time I don't care about details...lol! (I knew those stalking skills would come in handy one day). Christine Caine, Lisa Bevere, Jon Bevere, Max Lucado, Laura Silletta, Randy Hein, Chris Synesael, Darin Phillips, Caleb Delamont. Also, kids that I mentor are on there and I am blown away by their tweets. It's way more effective than facebook. You get to see moods and stuff on there.

3. I am starting a business. More on that later.

4. I am listening to U2 right now. I love Bono. He was pretty nerdy when he was younger. He has grown into his face. And his hair. With or without you is on right now.

5. And you give yourself away, And you give yourself away, And you give and you give and you give yourself away. My hands are tied, my body's bruised, she's got me with nothing to win and nothing left to lose. Oh Bono, if you like that kind of thing, it's gonna be ok buddy. Let's talk. Wanna come over?

6. Anyways, back to blogging. I found my purpose in life. I am amazed. God is good. He is God, I am not. Duh, obviously. So there was this girl named Laura and she told me her story. the verse she taught me about was my life verse! Coincidence? I think not. It's from Esther. She was made queen and helped her people overcome. She was made for more than mere beauty. She was made to win battles. That is me. Warrior Princess Daughter. I am here to win the battle for hearts for girls. (I like boys.)

7. I am here to stay. Maybe Bono will come and visit me.