Sunday, March 29, 2009

Coral Sunset

Here are a few things to think about when you go looking for a lip color at the cosmetics counter:
1. Do you wear lipstick or lipgloss? Or both?
2. What do you want out of a lipstick? Do you want it to last all day or do you like reapplying?
3. Do you like light, medium or dark lipsticks?
4. Do you wear a liner with your lipstick?

I love when seniors come in. They know exactly what they want and know what looks good on them. This one lady, who is super nice and a regular customer, came in and told me she was looking for a coral colored lipstick that doesn't have any shimmer in it and isn't too red, medium intensity with a hint of pink and has a satiny finish. We tried it on her and Bingo! It looked great. I could not take any credit for this. She knew what she wanted and what looked good on her. What a satisfying shopping experience. And I didn't even have to spend any money!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Big personalties. One Room. Two days.

I am back. Did you miss me? I went for training for my job, in which I have been employed for 6 months now. You would think that it doesn't take a brainiac to do my job. And that would be the correct perception if you were in the training room with my co-workers, and I use the term "workers" loosely. Granted there were 3 PHENOMENAL advisors in the room and I looked to them for commisseration and unity. As for the others, I am surprised they knew how to get to the training room.

One-Woman-Wrecking Ball didn't know how to calculate month-to-date figures and we stopped the class just for her for 30 minutes. She still didn't get it at the end and failed the test and then threw a hissy fit and ripped her test up. She graduated anyways.
Imitation-Knock-Off copied from my list of strengths and when she presented immediately before me, made it look like I copied from her. Until I got to a few things she didn't have on her list. One of her "strengths" was knowing the ingredients. When the trainer asked her for a list of ingredients in a certain product (required knowledge BTW), she didn't know so the trainer asked her for the list of ingredients in another one, which she also didn't know. She graduated, of course. When my turn came and I said that as one of my strengths, the trainer asked me. I knew the ingredients, but it's not really the "cool" thing to know. I didn't care. But I definitely got the stink eye from a few. As I walked back to my seat Beautiful, Classy, and Kindness hi-fived me. When the trainer asked us questions, China often answered. We couldn't understand her because she doesn't speak English. The trainer asked her to repeat her answer. So she did, in Chinese of course. No one could understand her, so we moved on to the next question. I think she answered her test questions in Chinese as well. She graduated.
Rum had a semi-permanent sneer on her face and when the trainer asked her directly to answer a question, she just said "pass". The trainer said, "there is no pass, you need to look up the information." Rum, who was wearing a particularly interesting perfume that smelled a lot like an alcoholic drink, reached for a chart to look up the information and fell out of her chair. While on the floor, she reached up and plunked her hand loudly on the table, pulled herself up, and said "pass" again. The trainer sighed and moved on. Rum graduated.
Clutzy-Clepto kept spilling or dropping things. After she stole them. I think she wanted to get caught. We couldn't find the glass with the Q-tips. They were in her purse. I was embarrassed for her. Her face was red and she just stared down at the table. When we were alone, I asked her why she took those and not the eyeshadows or lipsticks. She said that they ran out of Q-tips at her store and don't expect them for another few days and she thought it would help with her sales. Great customer service (it was one of her strengths in her presentation), but really? Largest item attempted to conceal? The lipstick tray! The corner was sticking out of her bag. In the end, no items walked out of the room. She was embarrassed, but frustrated. Oddly enough, she informed me that she doesn't feel the need to collect items from her store because that would be stealing (ummm...ok). She graduated by the way.
Annoying Cougar tried to get me to massage her back (everyone was giving hand massages to demonstrated the lotions). I may have if she didn't talk about things that happen when you have kids and how her breasts change and if she didn't smell like she fell into a cigarette plant where all the cigarettes have been lit and just slightly smoked. I couldn't stop coughing when she came over to chat with me. She is 50 and reminded us of this every 7 minutes or so and also reminded us that she has a 30 year old. She seemed shocked that she was 50 and "still looks great" and insists that the tanning and smoking have done no harm to her skin because she uses great product and that dying her hair blonde every 6 weeks is simply a different way of conditioning her hair. She said that people often compare her to Heather Locklear. I like to think that the fog of smoke surrounding her is just her aura or perhaps a halo. She informed me that she had her string bikini on underneath her uniform and wouldn't mind going to the sauna to see if there are any hot men there. She invited a few of us along. I told her I was busy after. She went with her close cousin, Imitation Knock-Off, who told very dirty jokes during training. Annoying Cougar told even worse jokes and both were told to stop by the trainer. They didn't. But, that's right, they both graduated.

At one point, we were seperated into groups and told to do each others' make up according to the chart, with each girl showing a different look and each person doing a different part of the face (eyes, cheeks, lips). Beautiful, Classy, Kindness and I were put into a group. Smart trainer. Kindness doesn't speak english very well, but DAMN! she knows how to apply make-up like it's no one's business. She is 55 and looks 35. She showed me what to do and how to do it. I would pay for her to do my make up!
Beautiful has the best skin I have ever seen in my life. She doesn't wear make up and if she is told to, she only puts on Classic Red lipstick and mascara, maybe black eyeliner. She is tall and large. Role model. Smart. Strong. Beautiful. She is 30.
Classy wore pearls and had black hair and fair skin (no her hair isn't colored, we all asked). Great posture, clear pronunciation, very clean makeup application, and very precise. Followed charts accordingly and only missed one point, which she accepted with grace.

I actually learned something in that group, but I was starting to wonder why I was in this group of super talented, super beautiful women. I had this moment of complete insecurity and wanted to go into a corner and hide under a pile of cotton balls and Q-tips. Sure, I generally feel pretty and beautiful and totally God's creation, but working with Plum Plucker kinda makes it evident that I don't fall into the category of society's template for what beautiful is. I owe Stella HUGE kudos for giving me the nick Enthusiasm. I suddenly realized I was their cheerleader. Also, knowledgeable. I am pretty and beautiful, but really, that is not my strength. Mine is attitude, ability and approachability. They often asked me about colors and blossomed when I cheered for them. I traded phone numbers with Beautiful and we are gonna hang if I go to Van or she comes here. We made the room a bit louder, a bit more fun.

When we returned to the table, we found out that the other groups only completed one face during the half hour period (time expectation for a look is 10 minutes). The most common look was the smokey eye, which can be a bit tricky, but when done correctly is amazing. Someone had put black eye shadow on Rum's eye, right up to the brow bone. She looked a little scary, plus the stumbling around didn't help. Kindness helped her back to her seat, where she found her Big Gulp cup and took a nice long sip.

On the second day, Red Russian told me I am too happy because I couldn't stop laughing. I didn't really understand what she said because she has a thick accent (recently moved from Moscow) and the room was very noisy. The music was turned up all the way and it had a nightclub kind of feel, except that there were makeup stands everywhere and women in sharp suits and high heels. I kept telling her I am not sure what she is saying. She decided to write it down for me so I would know exactly what she said. However, her calligraphy was very flowery and I thought she wrote that I am soo happy. "Too" looked like "soo". I said "thank you." What do you say when someone says you are soo happy. When the room was a bit quieter, she told me what she said. By that time, the whole thing had escalated and everyone was lauging at the situation. She loudly said a whole bunch of Russian words and stormed off to get a coffee. Oops.

I am glad to be home. A teeny tiny bit gratefulness for my co-worker seeped in. She also let me know that she is grateful for me. Maybe we can be BFF's and comb each other's hair? Nevermind, not gonna happen.

I am off to wash my face. Just thinking about that day makes me want to groom properly.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

I'm Just A Girl

There is this store downtown. I don't know the name but everything is either $4, $6, or $20. My co-workers and I call it the $6 store. It is nice looking stuff, not the highest quality. Necklaces, earrings, t-shirts, skirts, purses. The purses are actually pretty good quality. I pass by it everyday. Two days ago, the door was propped open and I decided to venture in. My song was playing and I actually sang it a little while spotting and trying on a red and peach colored necklace and pretending I was Gwen Stefani. I was sucked into the vortex of shopping! Which is kinda like the Bermuda Triangle. Money goes missing, and temporarily, so does my sanity. I spent half an hour in there, but it only seemed like 5 minutes. Time actually warped while I was in there. In an attempt to counteract the effects of the Bermuda Triangle, I have developed a very specific way of shopping . First, I try to spot my colors (usually primary colors, although easter egg blue is an instant turn-on). Then I inspect to see if I like the style. Then I look to see if they have my size. If I try it on and am not in love with it, I don't get it. In this store? I wanted to buy EVERYTHING I tried on. I love this store. And it's dangerous, which I think makes me like it even more (maybe that describes the guys I like-Except they are usually high quality). Can you have a love affair with a store? Cause if so, the $6 store is my current beau, although he doesn't open the car door. I don't think he even has a car. But he does have a door and it was open when I walked up, so I guess he DOES open the door. I actually missed lunch because I spent my whole half hour sorting through which things I liked. The total bill would have been $50 but then I realized I didn't have my bank card or wallet on me and only had a $5 bill. I avoided complete seduction. But I will be back. Oh yes, I will be back.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Completely Normal Childhood Memories

My little brother didn't get a haircut until he was 6. He had thick, blond, wavy hair and was often mistaken for a girl (kinda like Rene and Celine's son). I felt really bad for him. It was embarrassing. Sometimes, late at night, I would sneak into his room and cut his hair when everyone was asleep so it wouldn't appear to grow even longer. I would gather it into a pony tail and snip off what looked to be an even amount. I don't think my parents ever knew. I was 13. He now buzzes his hair once a week. He looks a little more masculine. Not much more though.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Type "1" for Fun!

It is sickening how much money credit card companies make on interest. And they are getting greedier. With stores now establishing their own banks (think Starbucks, Canadian Tire, Sears, Superstore) they all have their hand in your pocket, hand in your pocket. The front line employees, who are responsible for promoting these little squares of plastic, are told to get the customer to upgrade to a major credit card, like Mastercard, so that they can use it outside of the store and are more likely to rack up a balance.

Let's say the customer does not necessarily want an upgrade but they have amazing credit...Too bad. They will be receiving their new credit card in the mail in two weeks. They can deal with it then. What is the big deal? you may ask. The customer gets a lower APR and is responsible for their credit and it's their fault if they don't make their payments, right? Sure. BUT just getting an upgrade will automatically affect their credit rating as well as many other factors in life. is an example of how credit can get screwed up (although it is based on an American credit card company, the process also applies to Canadian credit cards).

Today, yours truly, voiced this concern to a particular manager after a customer very loudly and sternly objected to getting an upgrade. After a lengthy discussion, I was told in a very nice and not-at-all threatening way that disciplinary action would be taken if this procedure was not followed. The customer is not to be given a choice. I am good at this as I have a very high rate of upgrades and people generally are good at accepting news when it is delivered in a cheerful way and they are not told the details. Which may not be such a good thing. My conscience is nagging at me.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Here We Go!

So I am pretty stoked to start this blog. I have been inspired by friends who have blogs and often think about things that I could write about if I had a blog. So, here we go. You and I. How exciting.