Thursday, April 30, 2009

Trading My Ashes for Jones New York

I start my new job soon. I am totally stoked. Stoked is my favorite word lately. I think I am going to start a word list. Not so much a word of the day, or word of the month. It will be random word time. I missed last week's haiku and now it's Thursday. Oh the pressure!

Anyways, back to me. What? It's my blog. lol

I start the new job tomorrow. I am going in today to see what time I start, get some training material and all that jazz. I am super stoked because this seems like a professional setting, I no longer have to take the bus to get to work, and I think I get a complimentary cell and plan that is covered by the company (saves me a total of $225 a month). Stoked. The other thing I am totally looking forward to is not working with mean people. I have met my co-workers and they are very supportive. They bounce sales off each other, take turns when people come in. Also, they really promote from within and believe strongly in training. I also believe strongly in training and any company that does not invest in training of some kind probably won't last or will have lower performance than a comparable company that does.

I have gotten a new haircut and color. The haircut is the shortest it has been in a long time, just above my shoulders! But it looks good and is easy to manage. The hairdresser showed me how to backcomb to get it to lay where it should. Also, since I have a round face, the hairdresser cut a lot of layers into my hair to give it height on top and give the appearance of elongating my face. It was a free haircut from the Welcome Wagon and I am definitely going to stick with this hairdresser for a while. Next time, we are putting blonde and copper streaks in. Ganice at Partings (pronounced Ja-neice). I highly recommend! I would not have even thought of this style myself so I am pretty grateful for her. I also got a couple of new, used blazers from an old friend/co-worker. We used to be the same size until she lost a bunch of weight, which turns out great for me! She has a very similar build to me, so the jackets taper in at the waist and flair out at the stomach, hiding my fat. It's all about accentuating the good, hiding the not so good. She used to work for some big office in Calgary, and had lots of money so these are quality clothes (Liz Claiborne, Jones New York). I am totally stoked to not just have to wear a uniform everyday but actually be blessed with such nice clothes. Trading my ashes for beauty has been coming to mind lately (Isaiah 61:3).

Waiting for our Heavenly Father

A couple of Sundays ago, I was helping in the nursery with a sweet little girl who is 2 years old. Her mother left to go to service and she cried for just a little bit and then was fine. At one point she fell and hit her mouth on this bike. Her lip started bleeding a little and she was crying. I picked her up and held her, gave her a kleenex and she was fine, no more crying, no more bleeding. She climbed down from my lap and started playing again. I had pressed the numbers for her mother to see in the sanctuary and come to the nursery.

After a long time, the mother came and checked her daughter to make sure there wasn't anything seriously wrong. She couldn't see any cut and there was no more blood. Her daughter wasn't crying and also was so happy to see her mother. She laughed and giggled and knew it wasn't the normal time for her mother to pick her up and was absolutely thrilled that her mother came early. Then her mother went to leave to go back to service and she must have thought she was leaving her there forever. She is used to leaving with her mother when her mother comes back.

I have never seen her or any kid have a tantrum like the one she had. I put the parents' call number back up to be displayed. She kicked the door, lay down on the floor and kepted kicking the door, then got into a fetal position and sobbed and screamed at the door. In the end, she was just sitting cross-legged against the wall and held her forehead in her hands and sobbed. I had been trying to comfort her or hold her but she only wanted her mother and pushed me away. My heart broke for her at that moment and I thought this is what despair can feel like. I just sat in front of her a couple of feet away and silently prayed and stayed still and then she calmed down. Right at that moment her father appeared and said I could go to service and he held her while she calmed down. I am too big to sit on my dad's lap and that would definitely be an awkward thing to do, but sometimes I feel like kicking the door. I know our Heavenly Father is with us. I just have to remember that there is a roomful of toys I can play with. People I can interact with. And that my Father will come sometime. I love our nursery, but patience with waiting is not my strong point. He is coming back.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Sleep Dialling

I had a dream that this really big, huge mean man came to my counter and told me to give him money. The supervisor closed the door in his face and said no. He got really mad and was going to go for another door. I kept running around closing the doors. People that I worked with stood and watched me, not doing much. But the mean man kept running after me and finding all these stupid little ways to get in. He didn't just want money, he wanted to kill me and anyone else he could. I finally found this tiny room that had a door that also turned into a counter. I closed the little door to the counter and also closed the door and locked it. He was outside and I was inside. I was safe. I had gotten away. He was banging on the door though. Very hard. I thought he was going to break the glass. Then silence. Suddenly, I felt this hand reaching for my lower back. I turned and realized he had stuck his hand through this hole in the bottom and was grabbing for me. I smartened up and grabbed a phone and dialled 911. Why hadn't I thought of that before? It was at that moment I woke up. I had one hand on my lower back and my cell phone in my other hand. I guess at that point because in my confused sleepy state, I thought he was still there. It was such a huge relief and I am weirdly a little grateful for this terrifying dream because I realize I was safe. That guy in my dream is gonna get his ass kicked by the cops. Or be brought to justice. Or Mercy. Or something like that. Who cares, I am awake now. Then I hear this voice asking "Police, Fire, Ambulance?" I hung up. Of course I get a call back asking if I am okay. I had to explain that I was sleep dialling. How embarrassing!


I love shrink wrap. We created these boxes that we covered with shrink wrap and I got to tighten them with the heat gun. Satisfaction on this task on a scale of 1-10? 9. It is almost the most fun thing to do at work. Yesterday, before I walked off my job, I put 7 layers of shrink wrap on a package. It is a thing of beauty! You can't even tell there are 7 layers. I started with the first layer, which snapped because I got it too hot. So I started again. The plastic was pulled taut (love this word by the way, it's sounds like taught, without the g and h but it means tight - taut) and the only way you could tell that there was even plastic wrap on it was to see the outline. I was a little worried it would snap, so I added another layer. That was also TAUT (hee hee). So I got the idea to add yet another layer. I kept going. I wanted to see how many layers you could really add before you could tell there was more than one layer. Turns out you can just keep layering them and they mesh together. But you have to keep an eye out for sneaky customers that lurk. I kept an eye out for co-workers and managers and helped anyone that came to the counter. And when I went to put another layer on, I would take the package into my cubicle, wrap it and bring it back to the counter where the heat gun is to make it TAUT again. Turns out, this lady also was very enthralled by the shrinking of the plastic and was off lurking in the clothing stands watching me tighten the package. She came up and asked if she could tighten. I told her no, it is just a package I am making for our counter, but we are taking resumes at this time (yes, I will hire any crazy person since I am leaving and they will have to work with the one woman wrecking show crazy lady on my counter and wouldn't it be fun if they matched?) Then she says...."I see you are putting layers and layers on this package. Is that part of the program or are you just enjoying it a little too much?" Touche. I let her hold the gun for a short time. Then I took it away, put the gun in the drawer and the package on the counter. I later saw her stroking the package. Weirdo. Lol. Thank God it was my last day!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Random Family Memories

We used to live on a farm. My parents would commute to the city to conduct business in their real estate practice. After one of my brothers was born, my mother stayed home and my father went out to work. He would often be gone late and get back when the kids were in bed and it was sometimes solely up to my mother to discipline. My older brother was always getting in to trouble. While my dad would sit and talk us kids and make us never want to do that thing again (I think it was mindgames...or maybe programming?) my mother would take out the wooden spoon. I never got the wooden spoon, but my older brother got it so many times, I can't even remember what he did wrong.
One time, my brother did something REALLY bad. And we all followed. So my mother had us sit on the couch and she was going to give us the wooden spoon one at a time. My brother leaned over and she gave him a wack on the bottom. He looked at us and cracked a smile. Then a bigger smile. Then a toothy grin. Then he opened his mouth and laughed silently. He was trying so hard to hold it in. Nothing is worse than an angry woman who has just been laughed at. He was shaking a bit, so my mother stopped and looked at him. When she found out he was laughing, she wacked him a good hard one. The spoon broke, so she grabbed another one. That one broke too. She gave up. She came back later and read us a story.
She laughs about it to this day. That was the day she decided to not to use the wooden spoon anymore. I don't remember ever getting a spanking. I was probably a good little angel...ha ha ha, yeah right ;)

Homemade Basement Suite Chai Latte

I had the best ever chai latte tonight. I watched my friend make it. It was magical, simple, and delicious.

1 tablespoon fresh cardamom seeds
1 cinnamon stick
4 cloves
1 tablespoon fresh ginger, peeled and chunked
1/2 cup sugar
4 black tea bags
8 cups water
2 cups milk

Crush cardamom seeds and put into kettle with cinnamon, cloves, ginger, and sugar. Slowly bring to a rolling boil. Reduce to simmer, add tea bags, let steep for 4 minutes. Add milk, heat without bringing to a boil. Serves 8.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Fashion Trend Alert

There are new and weird things coming into style lately, although some are repeats of previous fashion from decades ago.

Aladdin pants, aka harem pants.
Flowery shirts for men. This is no longer restricted for queens, but now every man can look like your grandmother's wallpaper. I just want to rip these shirts off. And not just to see what is underneath either.
Burlap. Cause I love eating potatoes so much, I wanted to wear a dress that is made for potatoes!
Thigh high boots. K, I have to admit, I love this trend. I usually cannot fit them over my calves and they are very expensive, but I still love them. I remember this Wilson Phillips video where one of the girls was wearing thigh high boots. Not at all pirate-ish.

It's cyclical I guess, but some things just shouldn't come back in, like the harem pants. I remember walking through West Edmonton Mall by the oilmen metal statues thinking I was hot stuff! Everyone had them. That's the thing with fashion, someone, somewhere decides this is what is right now. Some girl who is the "it" girl wears it and everyone clambers on. The other thing is, during recessions, everything is more extreme, brighter colors, higher skirts, lower cut shirts, etc. I think my extreme is going to be hair. I have big hair, always have, always will. Back when I wore my harem pants, I would hold my hair straight up, spray it with Freeze Spray from Paul Mitchell, and blow dry it like that, so it would stand straight up. Until my dad told me I looked silly. I didn't believe him at first, thought he was just being mean. But I am definitely not going to do that again. I am just going to back comb it. So much healthier for the hair.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

How to say no properly

"No thank you."

Things that may sound like no, but are really ways around saying no directly:
"I can't."
"Not right now."
"I don't think so."

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Haiku Thursday

Peaks and Valleys

Majestic mountains
Looking like a snow-capped chart
Of Economy


Butter Chicken Butter Chicken Butter Chicken Butter Chicken Butter Chicken

I learned about Butter Chicken when living with one of my best friends. Today I was missing her and while on my break, watched the cooking Chef at Home with Micheal Smith. My co-workers call him the "gentle giant" and oo-ed and aw-ed over him. Whatever. Guess what he was making???? Yes! It was butter chicken! And he made it in this really cool way. First, he showed how to make his version of tandoori chicken. Then for the butter sauce, he showed how to get clarified butter and the base. Although I had just had lunch, my mouth was watering. This is not the typical way I make butter chicken but this one seems so much more simple and I am definitely going to make this soon because certain people aren't here to make it for me!

Butter Sauce for Indian Chicken

1 small can whole tomatoes
1 cup 35% heavy whipping cream
2 heaping spoonfuls garum masala
Zest and juice of 1 lemon
2 x chili peppers
3 tbsp grated frozen ginger
1 small bunch fresh cilantro
1 stick (1/2 cup or 8 tablespoons) of butter

Puree the tomatoes, cream, garum masala, lemon zest and juice, chili peppers, ginger, cilantro and salt in a food processor. Melt the butter in a 3-quart saucepan. When it begins to foam, swirl it around until it browns lightly. Stir in the tomato mixture and heat it through. Serve over Tandoori chicken with plain yogurt, naan bread, and a cute guy.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

And now for something completely different

I am very fond of Ms. Pacman. I love the cute little bow and the 4 goblins that she runs around getting after she eats the big dot. As a matter of fact, I think I was addicted to Ms. Pacman. That's right, I used the word "was" because I have cut it off completely. You may notice that my blog page is a bit different; I removed Ms. Pacman from the main page. Reason? Firstly, addiction...once I realized, it was easier to cut it off. But the other reason (and it's very odd) but I was speaking with my mother today. She has depression and fears she is losing her memory. She went to her friend's house and then when she came out, found she had spent $150 and had a pile of Avon makeup (if this has ever happened to anyone, maybe you can relate). She remembers going into the friend's home, doesn't remember my father picking her up after or how she got home. She has recently starting taking anti-depressants and has been on her current ones for 3 weeks. She called her doctor and he told her this isn't usually a side effect. Today when she was taking a nap, she had a horrible nightmare that there was a pacman running around in her head eating memory tape. She said that she woke up and was thinking of me which is what prompted her call. No more Ms. Pacman for me. I feel guilty when I play it. Nothing like a mother's guilt trip (even if it's not on purpose) to break addiction. I did NOT tell her I had been playing Ms. Pacman.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Bean around

I played this card game called Beans. It was a lot of fun. I lost every time. I was playing with a nerdy yet very pretty and competitive friend of mine. I made Nyvpac (pronounced Niv-pak) keep playing even though she was tired because I was having fun, and honestly, I wanted to win. I didn't. We are going to play that game again. Recently, I also played Frustration with another friend. That game is definitely addictive and I could play it over and over. We had intended to play it just once and I think we played it 2 or 3 times. Sometimes the fun is in having a challenge. Obviously, I can't live in that area of life forever-the one where I am always challenged. It would become exhausting. But in that moment, I had this pure, fun, purpose. Which was to play and win. I love healthy competition. And I love having friends who know how to compete. And co-workers who know how to compete in a healthy way.

In a recent job interview, the interviewer asked about my level of competition and how I get around competitive people. I told him my view and he was satisfied and pleased. Then I asked what the environment was like for competition in their company. He took me over to observe. I saw a fellow make a sale. His co-workers were standing not far off. When he went back to the counter, they hi-fived him. It seems good. The interviewer told me that negative attitudes will not be tolerated. That made me happy. There is scientific research that shows that sometimes the simple act of observing something actually changes it. It's called the Observer Effect. I tried not to think about it as I observed the interviewer observing the guys who observed he was standing there observing. A job is a job. And, I kinda like competition. The hi-fiving kind.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

I love random text messages

Especially ones from boys who I thought didn't like me. Especially when they flirt over text. However, it confuses me.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Haiku Thursday


Metal case holding
Shimmering emollient:
Satiny Scarlet


Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The story of me, or someone like me

Once, I was planning on marrying a Prince who was practically perfect. Then along came a dragon, which destroyed my kingdom, kidnapped the Prince, and burned all my clothes so that I had no choice but to wear a paper bag. I tracked down and outwitted the dragon and challenged the dragon to burn forests with fire and to fly around the world. The dragon completed the tasks but after flying around the world a second time became tired and fell asleep. I then saved my Prince. He didn't even thank me and told me to come back to rescue him when I looked more princessy. Then I realized what a bum the Prince was, told him off, and went off to live my own life.


I recently had a kink in my neck. It caused pain in other parts of my body: headache, back ache, even my right foot ached. Muscle relaxants helped temporarily. I stretched in the morning, on breaks, when I got home, before bed, pretty much any time I could. The doctor said it was swollen and there was no need to go to the chiropractor at the moment, perhaps the physiotherapist, but he wanted the swelling to go down first to avoid further damage, and recommended I take more muscle relaxants, a hot bath and the day off (I can always take a day off!) This one little kink caused so many problems. Sometimes I feel like that about attitudes. A negative one can cause so many other pains elsewhere. Everything is connected. I am happy to report that as of today, the kink is completely gone as well as the other aches and pains and I am grateful. Which leads to other wonderful results in life. Which leads to more gratefulness. It's kinda like stretching. It leads to more.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Day 4-Today was wonderful

A friend came and let me do her makeup and then we went out after. GTs, as a somewhat nerdy, yet very pretty, friend of mine, says.

How to tell if a guy likes you

Well, he doesn't. That's it. Just accept it and move on. That is what I keep telling myself. Lol.

p.s. This is not directed at anyone.


Sunday, April 5, 2009

How to Get People To Think you are Weird

1. Tell them how God speaks to you

2. Hum the theme song to "Full House"

3. Say something in small group that kinda matches what everyone is talking about, but not really.

4. Be random

5. Be cheerful. That REALLY throws people

6. Be single. And over 30. Not sure that is so weird anymore...

7. Tell them you have 7 brothers and sisters.

Day 3 - People behaving very badly and inappropriately

Ok, so I know I complain about work. A lot. But it's really bad. I will tell you how bad in just a minute. Good news: I had a job interview this morning for a career that I really want, pays well, great benefits, great atmosphere, good hours, close to home. Then I got through the second interview. They have called me back for the third interview and are requesting transcripts, records, references and all that great stuff. Totally stoked. I applied for associate, but they interviewed me for a managerial position. I am praising God out loud right now and have been all day. Yippee!

This is how bad it was today: A co-worker's friend came and *screamed* at me for doing "something" to her friend. She didn't explain what, but was very nasty to me. She said I am not nice to her friend. Ummm, ok. In hindsight, I probably should have called security, but instead I tried to speak calmly with her and let her know that everything is ok. When I quickly determined that wasn't working, I calmly and simply told her I won't take her abuse, she doesn't know me or anything about me, is only getting fed one side of the equation, she needs to shut it and then walked away from her to the other side of the island. When she left, my co-worker came and apologized up and down and explained that her friend is very protective and she has no idea why she did that to me. Uh-huh. Right.

Same co-worker received a box of presents for her birthday and a card signed by EVERYONE, except for myself and another lady. I didn't know about it, didn't even know it was her birthday. You better believe I high-tailed it to the dollar store, bought a card, signed it, and gave it to her within 15 minutes. Totally awkward and I turned on my beauty advisor smile. The box of goodies she received included a deck of cards with...ahem...interesting pictures of males with...hmmm...well, you get the idea. In the middle of seating a customer, she came up and showed them. The customer was disgusted and walked out. Management says it's all in good fun. I hope I get a new job. That would be good fun.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Completely Normal Childhood Memories

I was married once before. To the A&W Root Bear.

Background note: I used to say how I love things, such as "I love this book" or "I love my Strawberry Shortcake house." My brother would respond with, "So, why don't you marry it?" And I would then say, "Maybe I will."

One day, there was a sale on at The Dub, where we would go as a family on a regular basis. The bear as a hand puppet was being sold for 99 cents with the purchase of a teenburger. I had to have him. As soon as I said I loved the puppet, my brother and I went through our routine. (I love this bear. Maybe you should marry him. Maybe I will.) However, I had no idea that my family would actually plan a wedding between the bear and I. They invited neighbors, friends, family, church family, aquaintances, everyone! I think there was even a cake, music and a celebration. Someone (my sister I think) came and told me to put on a very nice dress, so I did. When I came out of my room with my dress on, there was an aisle set up and my brother was the puppet and the priest all in one and conducted the ceremony. I remember thinking how crazy all these people were, but they kept telling me to marry the puppet, so I just went along with it. I was 5. I don't think we were ever divorced, which is good because I don't want the kids to come from a "broken" home, just a crazy one.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Peanut Butter Sandwiches

Even though my heart kinda stops up at the thought of eating this, I kinda want to try it. There is this BBQ joint I go to called Pig (yes, that's right, Pig) every couple of weeks. The sandwiches are $5 (tax incl) and is simply a kaiser bun with your choice of meat and some BBQ sauce on it. Best sandwich ever. And they are big fans of Elvis. They have recipes of his posted on the wall. I am a creature of habit and sit at the same spot and read the same recipe every time I go. Enjoy.

Prep Time: 5 minutes
Cook Time: 10 minutes
Yield: 4 sandwiches

2 tablespoons butter, softened
8 slices white bread
1/2 cup smooth peanut butter
1 large, ripe banana, sliced
1/4 cup honey
12 slices bacon, Sauteed until crispy (optional)

Toast the bread very lightly. Spread the butter on 1 side of each slice of bread. On the other side of half of the slices spread peanut butter. Place banana slices on top of peanut butter. Drizzle honey over bananas. Place 3 bacon slices on top of the banana, then place the remaining buttered bread slices on top, butter-side-out.
Place sandwiches on a preheated grill pan or griddle. Flip them over when they become golden brown and crispy. When the sandwiches are browned on both sides, remove to plates. Slice in half and serve immediately.

Day 2-Peaceful day with non-productive meetings

Today was absolutely hilarious. Sometimes things can not make any sense to the point where you just have to laugh and keep doing your job. I couldn't stop laughing today at all the preposterous plans put forward during the most frustrating meeting I have ever attended. I wrote them down during my break because I couldn't wrap my head around some of them:

-Let's have a wine and cheese at someone's house to increase sales and that person will provide the wine and cheese (1. wouldn't it be cheaper to just purchase the product? and 2. how about we get a liquor license first, since we are becoming a pub?)
-For the customers that got a gift with their purchase, lets give them another gift of the exact same thing if they buy more since we have a few left (cause everyone needs two or three free samples of Shimmer Pink lipstick)
-Let's put all our customers in one room and talk to them about skin care, give them all samples to take home and let them come back another day to purchase the product, without being able to actually purchase the product that day.
-Let's interview some customers and get their opinion of products, publish it in a newsletter and hand it out to people.
-Let's invite people in one at a time and charge $40 per person for us to talk to them about skin care (redeemable in product). Huh? Isn't that our job anyways? I thought that was free?

There is more, but these are just the ones that stuck out in my mind. I give them kudos for trying, really. But I miss my old supervisor.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Day 1-Chaos

My immediate supervisor quit. Just walked off the job, didn't give notice. She has a lot of integrity and for her to walk speaks volumes. The meeting today was awkward with her supervisor, who is now our supervisor, letting us know that she is in charge and we have to listen to her. (I almost asked her if we also have to do what she says and not just listen to her, but probably not the most professional thing to say). It was an interesting day. I left early with a migraine. I am going to miss working with my good friend everyday. But I understand. I sometimes fantasize about doing the same. Does anyone else?

Haiku Thursday

Soft Invertebrates

Rain's pouring outside
Worms emerge from mud. And me?
Still hibernating.


Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Trekkie Alert!

OMG Star Trek has a new movie coming out in their franchise. All the original characters will be in it!!! Captain James Tiberius Kirk. Oh William Shatner, how could they ever find a young version of you? This is how! I am so stoked!

Good marketing

You know those Axe Commercials? I like the one with the chocolate man. And the BomChickaWahwah one too. In general, I do not prefer the smell of Axe. But the commercials? Good stuff. Totally catchy and I actually remember them. If I had a man made of chocolate, he wouldn't last long.